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Posts tagged ‘relationships’

Quantum Jump into Better Relationships


One of the most wonderfully imaginable ways to visualize an improved world is one in which relationships with others are more supportive and positive. While we might assume there’s nothing much we can do to improve the chemistry or attraction we feel for others, researchers have recently proven this is not the case. Studies show there is a lot we can do to improve how close we feel to others and how positively they feel about us.

Finding True Love in a Telepathy Experiment

When Julie Beischel signed up to participate in a telepathy experiment, the last thing she expected was to fall in love. Beischel was in a room by herself, unable to see her experimental partner, Mark Boccuzzi. Boccuzzi’s instructions were simply to gaze at Julie intently on a closed circuit screen that intermittently showed her (live) image. Intriguingly, the data showed Julie’s physiological responses every time Mark could see her, with noticeable spikes at the exact moments her image was taken away–as if her body was saying, “Oh, where did he go?” Julie said. At the time, Julie didn’t immediately tell Mark about the powerful connections she’d felt to him, since after all, they were strangers. Now married, Julie and Mark credit telepathy for helping them meet and fall in love. “It was like nothing I had ever encountered,” Julie said.

Improve Relationships by Acting Close

University of Hertfordshire psychology professor Richard Wiseman may have begun his working life as a professional magician, but no amount of magic books could explain the amazing results he got when he conducted an experiment with a hundred speed-daters in Edinburgh, Scotland. Wiseman separated the speed-daters into two groups: one which conducted the speed-dating activities as usual, and the other with special instructions for couples to pretend they were already intimately acquainted. These couples were instructed to hold hands, share secrets, and gaze into each others’ eyes.

At the end of the study when all the speed-daters were asked how close they felt to their partners, and how many of them would like to see their partners again, only about 20% of the conventional daters indicated a desire to reconnect, compared with 45% in the pretending-to-be-intimate group. Wiseman explains,

“The assumption was that the emotion leads to the action or behavior but this shows it can happen the other way around, action can lead to emotions. Behaving like you are in love can lead to actually falling in love.”

Wiseman adds,

“Actions are the quickest, easiest, and most powerful way to instantly change how you think and feel.” 

University of California at San Diego psychology professor, Dr. Robert Epstein, conducted similar exercises, asking couples of students to participate in what he called “soul gazing” — looking deeply into each other’s eyes. Epstein found a 7% increase in loving, an 11% increase in liking, and a 45% increase in closeness…. with 89% of participants reporting the exercise increased feelings of intimacy.

Epstein’s love-building exercises include embracing each other gently while sensing and synchronizing breathing, placing the palm of your hand as close to your partner’s palm without actually touching for several minutes (in which you might not only feel heat, but surprisingly also some sparks), write down secrets and discuss them, fall backward into the arms of your partner, mirror each others’ movements, and try a mind-reading game.

Taking action to become closer to loved ones is not inauthentic, explains Dr. Epstein. It’s something we can actively do to improve our relationships, rather than passively accepting the status quo.

“The students in my course were doing something new–taking control over their love lives. We grow up on fairy tales and movies in which magical forces help people find their soul mates, with whom they effortlessly live happily ever after.” 

The fact that we can increase closeness by acting close in relationships is wonderful news for both old and new relationships. The findings from these studies give credence to the advice of our parents and grandparents who impressed upon us the importance of good social manners. When we make eye contact, shake hands, and inquire how others are doing rather than only talk about ourselves, we’re well on our way to becoming a bit closer to people we might otherwise not care nearly so much about.


Quantum JumpsIntrigued by this subject? Learn more in Cynthia’s best-selling book, Quantum Jumps, that share ideas designed to help people experience improvements in relationships. Quantum Jumps presents a radical new paradigm: that we exist in an interconnected holographic multiverse in which we literally jump from one parallel universe to another. In a moment you can be: smarter, happier, in better relationships, more outgoing, more effective, more confident, with more willpower. Supported by scientific research, Quantum Jumps is an inspirational book backed with practical tools that help you live your best, most prosperous life. 

Here’s the video summary of this blog post:

Love always,
Cynthia Sue Larson
email Cynthia at

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Quantum Jumping to Find True Love

Cynthia Sue Larson

Imagine that everything in your life has been a dream, and you are just waking up for the first time right now. Can you feel a jolt of energy as you look around your surroundings–with a fresh sense of wonder that in some way you are here for the first time?

This exercise is designed to improve mindful awareness. When you envision you are starting your life with a completely fresh beginning in this very moment… you can feel a heightened state of awareness regarding all the possibilities open to you right here, right now. Mindfulness is the key to appreciating the reality we’re currently in, as well as recognizing the direction we’re moving in, and the direction we’d most like to go.

HALT! Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?

Notice whether you’re feeling hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (H.A.L.T.). If you are feeling any of these things, you must first take care of your basic needs. Just as grocery shoppers are advised not to go shopping on an empty stomach so as to not purchase impulse items that tend to be junk food rather that what’s best for us, all life changes you make will be better coming from a place of strength.

When you’ve halted for just a moment to ask, “Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?” you can rise above relapsing into any old patterns you’d rather leave behind. Eat good food if you’re hungry. Get more sleep and rest if you’re tired. Exercise, write in a private journal, or talk with a trusted friend if you’re angry. Connect with others if you’re lonely.

Envision Seeing a Possible You with Your True Love

In a multiverse in which every single physical thing–including you–exists in a superposition of states, there are a multitude of options open to you right now. This means that amidst infinite possibilities, there is a you who has already found true love and is enjoying a healthy, respectful, loving relationship right now. This possible you knows the secret to how to find and keep true love, is enjoying the benefits of being in a wonderful relationship… and can help you find true love in your life.

You can envision meeting this possible you through entering a daydream or meditation state, imagining all the details of being in the presence of this possible you. Know that simply being in the presence of this possible you grants you access to feeling, knowing, and harmonizing your thoughts, emotions, and feelings with the state of being in a relationship based on true love. While you might be tempted to focus on the person your parallel self is in a relationship with, and that’s OK, make sure you pay special attention to the alternate you. Notice what that you is wearing, what that other you is saying, how that other you is behaving in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

As you see a possible you enjoying being in such a positive relationship, get the attention of that possible you, and ask to receive whatever it takes so you, too, can find and keep your true love in your life.

Make the Quantum Jump

When you come out of the meditation / daydream in which you saw and felt a possible you with your true love, take some time to write down what you noticed, if anything, that was different about how the possible you who’s found true love spoke, moved, and interacted.

Write down whatever you may have received from the other possible you who is already with their true love. If you got a sense of receiving feelings of confidence or being more relaxed, for example, describe what you felt. If you felt a sense of knowing you are intrinsically worthy of love, jot down everything that will later remind you of how that felt. If you heard your other parallel universes self tell you something, write it down. The idea here is to lock on to the sense of being at one with the feeling of experiencing true love.

Most of all, remember the feeling you get of being in such a loving relationship. Now that you’ve seen another possible you in an ideal relationship based on true love, know that this is attainable for you. You can also remind yourself of what true love relationships are all about by reading books, watching movies, and listening to songs that take you to that blissful, ecstatic state. By locking onto these new emotional / energetic coordinates, you are helping ensure this reality is on a bee-line straight to you.

The Honeymoon EffectThe Honeymoon Effect

If you’ve had past relationships that were less than stellar, and doubt your ability to experience true love, I think you’ll love the wonderful new book by biologist, Bruce Lipton, The Honeymoon Effect: The Science of Creating Heaven on Earth. One of the things I love most about Bruce Lipton is the fearless way he shares intimate details about his life, with such joy and contagious zest for life that one feels one’s spirits lifting even when hearing tales of past traumatic events. What makes Lipton’s new book, “The Honeymoon Effect” such a treasure is how Lipton shares his passion for understanding the underlying biology of our interpersonal chemistry side-by-side with autobiographical accounts of what’s worked and what’s not worked in his relationships in the past.

Would you believe that the cascade of chemicals that drive love can be unleashed not just by falling in love with a person, but also by falling in love with a project or idea? Lipton assures us this is so, since “wherever there is passion, not far behind are the potent chemical brews that motivate us to pursue the objects of our desire.” As an author who once made the mistake of filling the bathtub while working on a chapter of my book, Karen Kimball and the Dream Weaver’s Web, this is something I definitely relate to.

As it turns out, the keys to living happily ever after with one’s true love are found within. Lipton explains through tales from his own relationship lessons in the past why it’s not enough to simply find the man or woman of our dreams. People subconsciously seek familiar patterns from the past, so unless we address underlying psychological issues in ourselves, relationships will only ever last until the initial bursts of love endorphins wear off.

Readers seeking a how-to book might want to dive into chapter four, “Four Minds Don’t Think Alike,” to get to the heart of weird ways we so often find our partner knows just how to push our buttons at the point we know ‘the honeymoon is over.’ Lipton explains that what is actually happening when the love of our life is no longer acting all that loving is that they are expressing their subconscious mind, with all of its programming instilled in us going all the way back to childhood… and before that, into the womb. Our subconscious mind soaked up a great deal of our environment in the form of cascades of chemicals running through our bodies, in such ways that sensitize us to particular repetitive patterns of emotional patterns around us. Fortunately, by becoming mindful, we can reprogram our subconscious mind, so we are compatible with the kind of partners we’d most like to live happily ever after with. Only through such reprogramming can we hope to break free of negative relationship patterns.

The Honeymoon Effect is an inspirational book containing a real-life successful love story, together with lots of recent research in the fields of biology and psychology… and some wonderful tips on how you can become more mindful and successful in love and life. Highly recommended!

Here’s my video summary of this topic:



Thank you for reading this blog post! Chances are good that if you read and enjoyed this post, you’ll also enjoy my books, especially the one I wrote about mind-matter interaction that shares real world experiences, science and meditations to make jumps between parallel possible worlds: Reality Shifts: When Consciousness Changes the Physical World

Shift the World with Deep Listening

Cynthia Sue Larson

Cynthia Sue Larson

Imagine what it would feel like if everyone you spoke to, and everyone you met listened deeply to all you had to say, with obvious empathy and without once interrupting or interjecting their own thoughts or feelings. How does it feel to envision a world in which everyone listens respectfully to everyone else? Can you picture your family, neighborhood, and community all listening to one another deeply and fully?

Heart-centered, open-minded listening provides us with the power to change the world, one conversation at a time. When our personal truth is honored, we feel an enhanced sense of respect, connection, and trust with those who listen deeply to all we have to share. We feel kinder, gentler, and more courageous when we are honored for speaking our truth. Barriers between people of wildly disparate backgrounds crumble and fall, as a sense of shared oneness permeates relationships based on deep listening.

Deep listening allows people to shift between parallel worlds of possibility, moving from communications based in mistrust and doubt, to relationships founded on respect and trust. Deep listening has the power to transform our lives by inviting us to reconsider all manner of assumptions, prejudices, and beliefs. Rather than pushing ideas forward of what we think best and right, we can experience exceptional results by listening to and addressing ideas that are very different from ours. Deep listening is a state of mindfulness we enter humbly, by emptying our mental cup of whatever point we are trying to prove, and whatever beliefs we fear may be threatened. Deep listening requires a courageous leap of faith, as all preconceived notions are set aside in order to give one’s full attention to what is right here, right now.

sacredshift.0982205473The basic steps involved in mastering the art of deep listening can be taught and learned. They involve providing speaker and listener with a time and place to converse, and providing steps for the listener to follow that serve to inspire confidence, trust, and openness from the speaker. Within such a framework, listening becomes an active process, in which the listener demonstrates respect for the speaker as a person, and respect for what the speaker focuses on. The art of paying such rapt attention to a speaker may seem unusual, yet people everywhere recognize listeners who show such uncommon levels of interest and respect.

I had an extraordinary experience with the power of my deep listening to transform the world when I was involved in a grass-roots local political campaign to rebuild a Berkeley neighborhood elementary school in the early 1990s. The school site council I led faced overwhelming opposition from the superintendent and the school board members. Some of us felt discouraged because we were completely disregarded by those with the power to influence change. Rather than more loudly proclaim our point of view, I actively sought out and listened deeply to all aspects of each school site council member’s concerns. Through listening deeply to what they had to say, we addressed their concerns one at a time, slowly but surely changing the school board votes from “no” to “yes” for our proposal. I experienced amazing intuitive guidance during that time, which further revealed the power of listening as the ultimate way to influence positive change in the world. Before one evening’s school board meeting, I was about to drive my car out of my driveway, when an overwhelming impulse to stop the car and pick one of the roses on my rose bush became too tempting to ignore. I carried that salmon-colored rose with me into the large room where the school board meeting was to be conducted that evening, and followed another powerful impulse to place the rose on the table of a school board member who’d been on the fence regarding our proposal. I wrote a note that simply said, “Please vote according to your conscience,” which I left with the rose. When the doors to the closed chambers opened, and the school board members entered the room, I was stunned to see the woman I’d left the note for embrace the rose lovingly in her hands for the entire meeting… a rose whose color exactly matched the two piece suit she was wearing!

One of the most radical, powerful, effective actions we can take in any situation is to choose to listen deeply. Deep listening is akin to the eastern concept of Yin, whose complement is the active Yang. We are blessed to live in a highly interactive universe, full of energetic responses to our every thought, feeling, and action. While we often become preoccupied with getting things done by projecting our thoughts, feelings and actions, we can lose our balance if we forget to be as receptive as we are active. Attaining a state of optimal receptivity for deep listening requires that we achieve a disciplined state of mindfulness in which we remain alert, open-hearted, and open-minded. Such disciplined mindfulness can be attained by a variety of methods, including athletes refer to as being “in the zone,” what psychologists call “active listening,” what Quakers call, “a clearness committee,” and what physicists and linguists call, “Bohmian dialogue.”

Get In the Zone

Before delving into relationships we have with others, we can begin the art of deep listening by mastering the fine art of listening to ourselves – by learning a more disciplined way to hear our own self-talk. Some of the top experts in this field of expertise are athletes, who must learn to master mind-body clarity and discipline in order to succeed. Athletes refer to the optimal state of mind-body clarity as being “in the zone” – a rarefied state of consciousness in which performance is exceptional and consistent, automatic and flowing. Mental conditioning trainers such as Trevor Moawad explain that the average person engages in self-talk at a rate of 300 to 1,000 words a minute, and this self-talk can range from being phenomenally empowering to extremely self-critical and self-destructive. Athletes learn that the way they handle their self-talk makes a tremendous difference in their performance, particularly at times when things don’t go according to plan. Good mental conditioning allows athletes to recognize when their self-talk is negative, positive, or escapist, and to manage thought processes accordingly. Rather than attempting to eradicate negative self-talk, athletes learn ways to rapidly switch mental gears any time negative thoughts arise, either to positive self-talk, or by asking themselves how a mentor or role model might handle a particular setback or challenge. Athletes show us that optimal human performance is achieved when we feel relaxed, alert, confident and strong… in a state of mind-body harmony that allows us to experience seemingly magical states of synchronized balance.

Master Active Listening

Thomas Gordon coined the term “active listening” in the 1970’s to describe the importance of paying full attention when hearing others speak. The three main components of active listening are: comprehending, retaining, and responding. While the individual steps involved in active listening seem simple and straightforward, they can be challenging when conversations are emotionally charged, competitive, or full of conflict. At such times, additional tools in the active listening tool belt come in especially handy, such as the four-step Non-Violent Communications process (also known as Compassionate Communication) developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960’s which consists of conveying one’s observation, feelings, needs, and request. Active listening provides people with ways to talk to almost anyone about just about anything, while empowering both listener and speaker in the process. Rather than feeling blamed or judged, people can begin to recognize areas of shared interest and connection, as well as begin to develop a better sense of empathy for what others are feeling, and what they need. Learning and utilizing active listening skills is one of the best ways to ‘be the change you wish to see in the world,’ teaching others by example how to compassionately respect and honor the true feelings and needs of others in our lives.

Create A Clearness Committee

In the 1660’s, the Quakers created a spiritual process guided by simple rules, including an understanding that what transpires within dialogue be treated confidentially, and not shared with anyone afterward. A clearness committee is initiated by a focus person, who selects committee members from the most diverse variety of backgrounds, experiences, ages, and viewpoints possible. The focus person writes about the past, present and future aspects of area of concern, and shares this with committee members prior to meeting. When the group convenes, committee members are forbidden from speaking to the focus person in any way other than asking honest, open questions, such as, “Did you ever feel like this before?” “Who are you trying to please?” or “How will you change?” Committee members are encouraged to remain totally attentive, and to ask brief questions inspired by intuition. The focus person responds to questions as they are asked, taking the conversation deeper and deeper… with the understanding that the focus person is in control of the process, with the power to not answer questions. Clearness committees are expected to help individuals become better focused on the true nature of their questions and concerns, in ways that provide them with a deeper, fuller sense of themselves in relationship to their area of focus.

Experience Bohmian Dialogue

Physicist David Bohm’s provided a significant contribution to a better understanding of quantum physics through a theory that described the universe of having an enfolded, or implicate, order in which space and time are no longer the primary factors nor foundation by which all of reality exists and interacts. Bohm proposed that our belief in so-called laws of space and time arise from our experience of an explicate order… one that arises from a unifying undivided whole. Intrigued by the striking similarity between Bohm’s worldview and that of the Blackfoot and other indigenous tribes, Leroy Little Bear approached physicist David Bohm and initiated the first “Language of Spirit” dialogue with scientists, linguists, and indigenous scholars and elders in 1992. The Bohmian-inspired Language of Spirit dialogues encourage participants to sense underlying oneness while consciously suspending self-defensiveness, and to actively engage in experiencing new perceptions through listening deeply. These annual dialogues are mediated by an indigenous elder, and continue for several days. One person at a time speaks when feeling inspired, and others listen, in a talking circle dialogue format, until the speaker says everything he or she feels strongly inspired to share.

The deep listening I’ve experienced has affected me in ways that defy simple explanation, leaving me with a keen sense of being better and more completely attuned to everyone and everything around me. I can feel my heart more fully open, and I can sense stronger connections between my heart and others. I’ve witnessed people befriend those whose experiences and worldviews were vastly different, and seen emotional dams burst open and healing tears flow forth. I’ve watched people bridge rifts that seemed impossibly deep and wide, and develop trust and respect for those they’d previously feared and mistrusted.

When we improve our ability to listen deeply, we see profound benefits to our civilization and world that we could not have predicted nor foreseen. Deep listening opens the doors to our hearts, and enables us to feel an expanded sense of belonging and connectedness with friends, family, colleagues, neighbors and strangers… who might not stay strangers very long.

This article is one of three chapters written by Cynthia Sue Larson in Sacred Shift: You Are the World

You can watch me discuss this topic on my YouTube video, Shift the World with Deep Listening... and please feel free to comment with your thoughts and ideas here on this blog and in the comments under the video. I’d love to know how you feel!

Love always,
Cynthia Sue Larson
email Cynthia at

Let’s Connect

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Soul’s Language Q and A with Jennifer Urezzio

I was fortunate to hear about Jennifer Urezzio last August, when I learned about her Know Soul’s Language and The Intuitive Toolbox™ programs. It took me a while before I was able to get some first-hand experience with these programs, and my introduction to Soul’s Language was so fascinating and insightful, I asked Jennifer if she’d be willing to be interviewed by me for my blog. Fortunately for all of us, Ms. Urezzio said, “Yes!” and here are my questions and her answers in a conversation about Soul’s Language.

(1) First of all, thank you so very much for accepting my invitation to be interviewed! I was greatly impressed by my Soul’s Language session with you, which I found to be deeply and profoundly moving as well as inspiring. Would you please describe what Soul’s Language is, and how it’s helpful to people?

Soul Language is putting tangible to the intangible – Soul.  It allows individuals to put into words what they know to be true inside of themselves and then helps them create a conscious connection with their Soul. It has help individuals feel a deeper connection with themselves and therefore the Divine.

(2) What inspired you to create Soul Language?

I didn’t really have a choice. J I asked a big question of the Divine: how to I use my gifts and talents, how do I connect with my Soul in a deeper way and how to I find my community. The answer that I heard via Divine guidance was and is Soul Language. I haven’t stopped asking questions.

(3) How are Souls Languages similar to and different from Jungian archetypes?

I believe that the Divine provides us with information about ourselves in a number of ways and as the consciousness grows so does that information. There is always going to be “standard” archetypes: nurturer, pioneer, teacher, etc. So of course, these are included in the Language categories. The Soul is complex so we can’t really put it in a box. Soul Language includes some of this information but the key is connection and Soul Language provides the opportunity for individuals to communicate on a deep level with their Soul.

(4) You’ve said each person has three Soul’s Languages. Could you describe these in layman’s terms that we can relate to regarding how they operate in our lives?

The three categories are: mission, how you fuel that mission or how you will be known here and your Soulful personality.

(5) As I understand it, one of the key benefits provided by Soul’s Languages lies in coordinating the way a person’s Soul’s Languages interact–harmoniously or inharmoniously. Could you give examples?

My Soulful personality or Tone Language is Graceful Warrior. When I’m in unconditional love for myself I understand that compassion is my greatest tool and talent for myself and for others. When I’m in conditional love or inharmoniously expressing this Language I’m a war with everything. That being a war is very painful. It creates conflict, pain and turmoil in my life and in my business.

(6) Do people usually keep the same Soul’s Languages throughout their lifetimes, or do some people adopt new or different Soul’s Languages in different stages of life?

Your Soul Languages are yours this life time. It would be very confusing to have our Soul Languages keep changing. You can spend a life time getting to know yourself, without having the information keep changing on you.

(7) It seems that knowing how one’s own Soul’s Language interacts with the Soul’s Languages of other people could provide tools that help improve communications. Do you offer insights for people who come to you seeking Soul’s Language advice for friends, colleagues, or family members?

I have community members that know their entire immediate family’s Soul Languages. All my close friends know my Soul Languages and I know theirs. When you understand how a person is operating consciously or unconsciously it helps not to take situations so personal. So when I work with a community member that knows the Soul Languages of that person that they might have conflict, I remind them of the unconscious behavior of that particular Language.

Also, I noticed that people “collect” certain Soul Languages. We tend to surround ourselves with the same type of energy.

(8) Soul’s Language seems like it could be a powerful catalyst for spiritual and personal growth. What kinds of feedback have you gotten from people who’ve come to you for Soul’s Language readings?

The number of feedback is thank you for putting words to what I know deep down inside of me. I also hear that individuals have a deeper sense of peace, acceptance and love for themselves and others.

(9) Is Soul’s Language still evolving and expanding… or do you have any new projects in the works? 

Soul Language is a living, breathing organism. Just like Soul. We now identify a person’s business Languages and sacred partnership Languages. We are also always creating tools that help people connect in a deeper way to themselves and the Divine.

(10) Thank you so much for sharing so much information about you and your wonderful work. How do you recommend people get in touch with you to learn more about Soul’s Language?

They can access me via the website,, or feel free to telephone me at 862.368.5877.

Wishing you all the best that life and love have to offer,

Love always,

Cynthia Sue Larson
email Cynthia at

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