Live your best possible life. How good can it get?

I am glad to see an article in The Atlantic titled The Benefits of Optimism Are Real summarizing recent research studies indicating that “resilient people are good at transforming negative feelings into positive ones.”  Resilient people excelled at bouncing back from stressful experiences, thanks to their emotional complexity and ability to involve a wider range of emotions, such that “high levels of positive emotions exist side-by-side with negative emotions.”  Resilient, optimistic people worry less, let go of negativity more readily, and more consistently shift their attention to the positive.

We find examples of adopting a resilient, positive attitude in the movies Life of Pi and Silver Linings Playbook, both of which include examples of adopting or moving into a position of greater emotional resilience, complexity, and optimism–without being delusional Pollyannas.  The main characters in both stories chose to focus on appreciating the blessings in their lives, while doing whatever (seemingly small things) they were able to do while facing challenging situations, instead of choosing to obsess on what’s unfair or upsetting.

Venting Doesn’t Help

You may have heard advice from people–including some experts–stating that it’s helpful to express your anger and anxiety in order to feel happier.  And you might notice some friends or family members who take every opportunity to describe what’s been troublesome for them recently in their lives.  Yet researchers are finding that any such rumination on worries, doubts, and fears tends to lead people who are already feeling depressed to become significantly more depressed (and for a longer period of time) than distracting oneself with something that’s either neutral or mostly positive.  One study even found that even venting by hitting a punching bag or being vengeful toward someone who makes you feel angry leads people to feel far worse, rather than better–and even doing nothing is better than venting in such ways.

Positive Emotions Heal

Researchers have found that positive emotions have a healing quality that have the power to reverse detrimental effects of stressful negative experiences.  Resilient people view unpleasant, stressful situations as challenges and opportunities for growth, rather than as threats–even when they are specifically directed to view challenges as threats.

Find Meaning:  Look for Ways to Improve

For the absolutely best results when finding oneself in difficult circumstances, we do well to ‘take lemons and make lemonade’–by seeking out a positive, productive goal to work toward.  People who find some kind of meaning amidst adversity by looking more deeply inside themselves to see what they can learn and how they can improve have also been found to experience health benefits above and beyond those who merely vent about hardships enjoy.

Master the Art of Becoming Resilient

We can create a positive upward spiral of good energy regardless what circumstances come our way, and regardless what is happening that is outside of our personal control.  We can learn to become more resilient by becoming aware of some positive steps for facing difficult situations:

(1) Recognize difficult situations as opportunities
As soon as grumbling, venting, and complaining begins, recognize that an opportunity has surely arrived, and also that this is the step we move as quickly as possible through for best results

(2) Describe why one of your most winning qualities is important
Regain emotional resilience in the face of any kind of rejection you might be feeling by identifying one of your most winning qualities, and then describing in detail (several sentences worth) why this quality is so important

(3) Set attainable yet challenging goals
Choose new goals that you know you can achieve, and you know will be good for you to achieve that now come to mind as you face difficult situations that you can now view as opportunities.

(4) Keep asking “How good can it get?!”
Regardless what is happening, maintain your commitment to keep moving ever onward and upward, by keeping the focus of your imagination and daydreams ever and always in the most positive possible directions.

 

You can watch the companion video to this blog post at:

 

___________________________

QuantumJumps300x150adCynthia Sue Larson is the best-selling author of six books, including Quantum Jumps. Cynthia has a degree in Physics from UC Berkeley, and discusses consciousness and quantum physics on numerous shows including the History Channel, Gaia TV, Coast to Coast AM, the BBC and One World with Deepak Chopra and on the Living the Quantum Dream show she hosts. You can subscribe to Cynthia’s free monthly ezine at: http://www.RealityShifters.com
RealityShifters®

Comments on: "Why and How to Master the Art of Becoming Resilient" (15)

  1. Good Morning 🙂❤️🙂 Awesome article! Think of you often🙂 Happy weekend! Lots of love 🙂❤️🙂❤️🙂❤️

    On Sat, Feb 9, 2019, 1:24 AM RealityShifters Blog wrote:

    > Cynthia Sue Larson posted: ” I am glad to see an article in The Atlantic > titled The Benefits of Optimism Are Real summarizing recent research > studies indicating that “resilient people are good at transforming negative > feelings into positive ones.” Resilient people excelled at bo” >

  2. Lee Marcum said:

    Cynthia, really enjoyed your writings ( as usual), science does give creditability to a “positive” attitude (even over drugs in many cases). Look forward to your next article. Take Care/Blessed Be in the Light lee

    On Sat, Feb 9, 2019 at 2:24 AM RealityShifters Blog wrote:

    > Cynthia Sue Larson posted: ” I am glad to see an article in The Atlantic > titled The Benefits of Optimism Are Real summarizing recent research > studies indicating that “resilient people are good at transforming negative > feelings into positive ones.” Resilient people excelled at bo” >

  3. Hello Ms Larson,

    I’ve just discovered you and your site through a Youtube video and just wanted to say that I find your theories fascinating and I enjoyed reading a few articles already. I don’t know much about the subject but I’ve been interested in the nature of reality for the past 5 years or so. I’ve started meditation about 3 years ago because of long time depression and anxiety and it’s wonderful to have discovered it. What I did find very odd and gave me goosepimples was reading one your aticles and finding these were almost the eact same words I said to myself today. Down to the eaxct same expressions used. Synchronicity I guess. Big hug from France.

  4. Thank you for your kind reply. I’am a very rational person, more science-oriented than spiritual I would say. I don’t see signs and synchronicities everywhere. I Never had what I would consider supernatural things happening to me ever. Yet that coincidence between my thoughts and your article was striking. You may think words and expressions are commonly used and this was just a fluke but what you’re were talking about was very specific and “complicated”, but paragraphs after paragraphs, striking similarities with what I was consciously thinking about mere hours earlier was reconstituted in your article right before my very eyes. I still shiver thinking about it because this cannot be a mere coincidence, this was just too specific and comes on the heel of deep mindfulness and meditation in the last few days to counteract a difficult moment in my life.

    I was very happy that you replied but I wasn’t about to write back again so soon but what prompted me to write again tonight is these other odd things that happened today. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a reality shift before or not knowingly anyway. My sister is staying at my place for a few days and left her pyjamas on the bed and went out. I was out of the flat too. Iam coming back this evening and she asks me if I’ve seen her pyjamas that she left lying on the bed before she went out and I honest to god haven’t seen the pyjamas and I didn’t even enter the room she’s staying in. We both start looking EVERYWHERE and my sister keeps repeating “I just can’t believe it, this is just so weird, they were on the bed, Iam sure about this”. The reletionship with what you’re explaining in these pages didn’t strike me straight away, it was about after 15mn of seaching that I thought wow, I literally just learned about reality shifts and items mising and this happens. We still haven’t found them and she had to borrow a pair of mine.

    What if I told you that my day was even weirder than that, I still can’t believe what happened:
    I love cars and post regularly on a car forum. A few days ago, we’re having a conversation about specific cars and the type of drivers who drives them, “who is agressive on the road ?”; ” Who is slow ?” I replied that drivers from a certain type of car are usally very slow and you always end up getting stuck behind them, i used the word “stuck”. This evening I rear-ended a car sadly. Nothing major thankfully but guess which exact type of car I rear ended and got stuck behind ? the exact same type of car I was talking about “getting stuck behind” a few days earlier. I get home, still shaken from the road accident. The pyjamas thing happens. I go online to look at answers about a few questions I had about my car accident and how to go about repairing it. I type on Google a very specific question about headlights/bumper/hood replacement and if I can use another model year on my car, I end up on a forum I’ve never been before but they talk specifically about my problem. The first person who replied to that post 4 years prior to me reading it was a guy who is a member of the car site I talked earlier and with whom I had a big online argument with about some silly car question on that saame day I talked about getting stuck behind a certain slow car, although the argument was about something different. Strangely enough, today was most probably the day I managed to do mindfulness “on the go” the most in my life and I can’t help but think that all these strange coincidences are related to the increase in mindfulness and meditation lately. I’am sorry if I’ve been too long. I Never thought I’d be this long but I guess this needed to get out and you seemed like the perfect person to say it to, even thought I’ve only “known” you since yesterday. Iam not a part of any other forum or wesites about this subject and I don’t have many people to talk to around me. thank you for reading.

    • Thanks for the detailed clarification, and I’m glad you’ve taken some time to describe a bit more detail about all these interconnected synchronicities since you began doing mindfulness meditation. I can relate to how surprising these things can feel when you first start noticing them–truly astonishing, even. And I find once I start paying more attention to these kinds of anomalous events, I experience more synchronicities and reality shifts. I definitely recommend that you start asking “How good can it get?” to steer events in an enjoyable onward-and-upward trajectory as your adventures continue. Thanks again for sharing so much of your journey so far!

  5. Thank you for your reply. Iam a male in my early forties, English is not my 1st language, just so you can “place” me. I will certainly take your advice and start asking “how good can it get ?”.

    For me, what can be disturbing at first when these things happen is that you’re being aware of being watched in a way since things respond differently depending on your way of thinking.And when very specific events happen that seems to respond to your thinking you might be thinking “gosh, Iam being watched somehow”. By whom or what I don’t know but that’s the impression I get sometimes. For me who rejected the idea of an all-seeing god it can be strange to realise somehing or someone is indeed “watching” (if that makes sense)

    I wish you a peaceful and enjoyable day Ms Larson and can’t thank you enough for taking the time to reply and for your kindness.

  6. Thank you for making this point, which indeed is very important. Through such awareness of ‘being watched’–or another way to put it is being aware of levels of awareness, levels of consciousness–we will tend to experience more reality shifts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings as you venture into these types of experiences with an open mind and heart!

  7. I see. It’s not so much “being watched” than being more (or less) aware that thoughts affects matter perhaps?. It is a relief in a way: maybe a lot of people accustomised to a punishing god or even familiar with the (bastardasied ?) notion of Karma could think that they’re, or can be, punished for their “bad thoughts” or actions because the equation then becomes “I have negative thoughts, something or someone out there can see that and punish me for it” when in fact, when you look closely, the bad stuff happening is a direct result of these thoughts not a vengeful action from God or the Universe.

  8. ……But then again when synchronicities seem to happen and they’re of a “bad nature”, for example my car crash seemed somehow “related” to the comment I made a few days earlier. And this was a quick comment not at all mean in nature I thought. I even added at the end of my message that at least these drivers were usually friendly…..and the person I was involved with in the accident was anything but. There seems to be a punishing streak to these things happening, not just the results of our thoughts but as if something or someone is sending you some sort of message, hence perhaps the feeling of being watched, judged or punished.

    • I recommend listening as closely as possible to your subconscious feelings and thoughts around these reality shift experiences. I consistently notice astonishingly miraculous types of reality shifts (in the positive sense) when on the subconscious level, I am feeling blessed and intensely positive–while at times when I’m feeling anxious, nervous, or upset I experience the less-than-enjoyable types of reality shifts. (Along with the occasional spectacular psychokinetic events).

  9. Or I guess someone who believes in premonitions could see this as an omen of sorts rather than a punition. Hope all this makes sense !

  10. […] Why and How to Master the Art of Becoming Resilient […]

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